2336 words, Fraser/Kowalski, alien!kid!fic. Sequel to Myerp, Moirrp, and Myerp Myerp.
[Disclaimer: Uhm, no H2G2 in this one, really, but that belongs to Douglas Adams and is why Koosh has to live with Fraser and RayK in the first place. And Fraser and RayK and Dief belong to Alliance Atlantis, of course. And Koosh -- well, I'll keep Koosh, so long as nobody else demands him of me. :)]
Koosh, Meet Park
"I don't know about this, Fraser," Ray says, looking doubtful. "What if -- "
"Diefenbaker and I have everything planned," Fraser assures him, but Ray doesn't appear to believe him. "All right; if you don't believe me, we can conduct a test run in the park down the block. If anyone suspects anything, you can create a diversion and we'll disappear."
"Yeah?" Ray says, one eyebrow rising. "And what sort of distraction did you have in mind?"
"Oh, well, I'm sure you'll manage." Fraser smiles and reaches out to run a finger along the Ray's ear. "After all, I doubt there will be firearms involved, one way or another, and -- "
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Ray mutters, but he looks fairly pleased. "Okay. Okay, look, I'm just -- worried, you know? I do not think the world's ready for him. Hell, we weren't ready for him -- "
" -- we just sort of kept him, you know, and we take care of him and feed him and -- "
"And love him," Fraser points out.
Ray goes a little red. "Okay, yeah, and love him. But that's not the same thing as being ready for him."
"That's a very interesting philosophical point, Ray, I -- "
"Fraser. No philosophy. I will take your philosophy and throw it out of my house on its ear, you get that?"
"Ah. Well, on a more practical note, you can't really expect to keep him indoors for the rest of his natural life."
Ray looks down at Koosh, who's sitting on the floor and looking hopefully pearly. "Hey, actually, what if -- "
"Moirrrrp," Koosh says, turning a reproachful imperial purple, just as Fraser opens his mouth to say essentially the same thing.
"Okay, okay, okay!" Ray says, holding his hands up. "Quit it with the guilt trips, okay? Just -- go, make sure nobody arrests any of you -- and Dief, make sure you don't -- "
Dief, however, isn't even pretending to pay attention and has gone bounding down the stairs. "I'm sure we'll be fine, Ray," Fraser soothes, and scoops Koosh up.
"Myerp! Myerp myerp myerp!" Koosh chatters at Ray excitedly. Ray, however, continues to look slightly harassed and abandoned, so Fraser pulls him in with his free hand and guides Ray's frazzled head to his shoulder.
"And to think I thought I'd have to keep you from speeding with him in the car," Fraser says softly, rubbing the back of Ray's neck gently.
There a warm burst of air against his neck as Ray snorts quietly. "Me, I'm not surprised," Ray murmurs, straightening. "You're the one who like to jump off buildings." Just then, Dief starts barking insanely downstairs; the landlady's going to complain in a moment. "Christ, Fraser, can't you keep that half-wolf quiet?" Ray says, grinning, and pushes them towards the door. "Go ahead. I'll catch up with you in a second. Just let me find some, uh, pants to go with my boxers and I'll be set."
Oh, the Mountie's here again. Excellent.
Amy doesn't see too many people chilling in the park on early Sunday mornings; everyone's either asleep or in church or both, she guesses. But lately she's found this Mountie -- Frasier, Fraser, something like that -- jogging around the perimeter. Pretty thing, he is. What's more, he's got an absolutely lovely dog. Sweetest thing you ever saw.
Today, though, they're both sitting out. The Mountie's leaning back on a bench, wearing a thick wool turtleneck instead of the usual t-shirt, and watching his wolf nose at a big fluffy white toy. "Hey," she calls, waving at them. "Too cold to run today?"
Fraser glances up, mouth hanging slightly open. Priceless. He recovers quickly and gives her one of his trademark grins. "Oh, good morning, Amy. I thought we might be seeing you today. Ah, no -- in fact the weather is fairly mild in Chicago this fall. Of course, there's time for that to change, but -- well. We'll see."
"So why aren't you jogging? You know, they say skipping just one day can break the habit."
Fraser nods wryly, and gives the dog an annoyed look. "Yes, well, I have tried to tell Dief that, but he never listens." Dief sneezes. "Yes, well, when you do find yourself physically incapable of running three miles, don't come whining to me." Dief puts his head on his paws and curls around his toy.
"Oh, don't be so mean to him," Amy says, giggling. "Look at him -- you've made him sulk." She kneels and strokes the fur between Dief's ears and gets her fingers lapped at. With any luck, he's got some pull with his owner. "See, you shouldn't make it a chore. You have to make exercise playful," she suggests, feeling bold, and picks up the toy. It squeaks and turns purple.
"Ah," Fraser says, making a movement toward her. "Ah, please be careful with that, it's -- "
"Expensive? Yeah, sure." No wonder; not only does it squeak, but it feels surprisingly heavy and warm. Maybe it's supposed to better simulate prey, or something. She doesn't know what's up with the color-change, though. "Here." She swings the squeaking toy tantalizingly over Dief's nose; Dief hesitates for a second, but then she really gets the toy going and he just can't resist.
"Ah -- I don't think -- "
"Don't worry about it, I know what I'm doing." Amy tugs the toy a little, making another squeak, and Dief growls a little and tugs back. She tugs again --
-- and the toy drops to the ground. "Oh, good heavens," Fraser breathes, and lunges for the toy.
"What?" Amy asks, but Fraser doesn't have time to answer, because just then a car roars over the grass and screeches to a halt two feet away from them. A man in a dark coat jumps out of the car and flashes a badge at them. "Everybody freeze! Chicago PD, I'm taking you in, hands over your head -- "
Oh, dear God. Is it illegal to be her before nine? Amy fervently wishes she'd read the sign before coming. Fraser blinks uncomprehendingly for a moment, then raises his hands. "I'm sorry," Amy babbles without thinking, "I didn't mean -- I thought I was -- "
The cop stops for a second and squints at her. "You're okay," he snaps. "Just -- this guy and his dog, this dog is out of control, we need to, uh -- "
"He is not!" God, what a jerk! "Dief's almost human, he's the sweetest dog I've ever met -- "
The cop's ignoring her, though, grabbing Fraser's wrists and cuffing them behind his back. "Is this really necessary?" Fraser asks tentatively.
"Absolutely." The cop gives him a shove over to the car. "Move it, mutt, or I'll get my taser out, don't you think I won't." Dief doesn't need to be told twice; he jumps up through the open door and settles in the back seat obediently. Anybody who thinks a dog who takes instructions like that is out of control -- well, they're out of their minds, is what they are, and they certainly shouldn't be on the force. "Don't worry, Fraser! If you need a witness, I'm here for you!"
"Ah, thank you kindly, Amy -- if you could procure your name and address -- " but then the cop interrupts him by shoving his head through the door.
"Save it for the judge, lady," the cop snarls, then hops into the driver's seat and squeals away.
Amy stands in the middle of the park and tries to remember where the nearest pay phone is until she realized that she doesn't actually know any of their full names.
Ray has Koosh nestled in the crook of his arm and is stroking his fur frantically. "Are you okay, buddy? Huh? Tell me you're okay, buddy."
"He didn't seem to be seriously hurt," Fraser says in a very small voice.
"You? Shut up." Fraser obliges, and Ray turns his attention back to Koosh. "What do you want me to do to him, huh? I'll do anythin you tell me to, okay, I'll -- I'll -- "
"Myerp," Koosh says, blinking up at him, and pats Ray's nose with three lengthened strands of his hair.
Ray blinks, and starts to grin. "Okay. So you're really okay?"
"Myerrrrp," Koosh purrs sleepily, and snuggles into his arms.
Ray strokes him just above his eyes with one thumb, over and over,wishing for once second that he could talk to the kid, because he is so obviously the better parent here. "Greatness," he whispers instead. "Just -- greatness."
"Ray?" Fraser says, very quietly.
"Could you please uncuff me so I can get out of the car?"
Several hours later, Ray's finally convinced himself that Koosh'd really rather be put down so he can play, and has dragged Fraser into the bedroom to chew him out. "I am never letting you out with him again," Ray swears. "Ever."
Fraser's standing in the middle of the room, hands behind his back, looking real apologetic. "I'm sorry, Ray -- I just, ah -- "
"You and women. The women never get enough of you, it's like some kind of pherosol thing --"
"Pheromone, and there's no need to be jeal -- "
"Fuck that, Fraser, I'm not jealous. I'm just saying this would never've happened if the girl hadn't been trying to pick you up."
"Pick -- oh. Oh." Fraser's eyebrows go way, way up. "Now, that's just unreasonable -- "
"Yeah, well, unreasonable or not, I'm taking him out from now on, okay? Girls don't try to pick me up unless I want them to pick me up." He folds his arms and glares at Fraser. "Which I don't."
"Surely they -- "
"Ah." Fraser starts to grin a little, which is just completely not what Ray's in the mood for. "That's very generous of you, then."
Ray points at Fraser. "You know something? I may love you? But I sure as hell don't like you very much right now." He turns around and slams the bedroom door shut behind him. Then he stands right outside the door and wonders what the hell he meant by that.
Well, okay, mostly he meant that tonight is a couch night for him. Goddammit.
Ray's found himself a whole 'nother park to let Dief and Koosh play in, and Koosh is being good, keeping his eyes shut or nearly shut so nobody'll mistake him for a little furry alien. He's squirming into the grass happily when Dief tells him its safe to, and his fur is gleaming in the sunlight. Ray grins at them, listens for Koosh's careful quiet "myerp"s, and wishes that Fraser was here instead of sulking in the apartment.
Suddenly, a shadow falls across him and the kids, and he jerks his head up to see -- Fraser? Okay, yeah, Fraser in a leather jacket and tighter-than-usual jeans, but still Fraser. "Uh. Fraser?"
"Ah." Fraser does the eyebrow thing. He's not going to apologize in public is he? Because that would be embarrassing as hell, besides which he doesn't actually need to apologize to Ray, and -- "I'm afraid you're mistaken. My name is, ah, Alex. Alex Mackenzie."
Ray blinks slowly. Okay, that names sounds -- wait. "You and those dead Canadian guys," Ray says, grinning evilly.
Fraser mouth twitches for a second. "Ah. Well. I haven't the faintest idea what you mean by that. May I sit?" He gestures at Ray's bench.
"Yeah, sure." Ray shifts his stuff over so Fraser can sit right next to him, because trauma or no trauma, Ray missed waking up with him this morning. Mostly he just wishes Fraser'd just admit he screwed up and move on -- none of this no-sleeping-together shit. It reminds him too much of Stella, really, and that's going no place good.
"So," Fraser says, after they've watched Koosh tickle the wolf for a while, "do women pick you up often?"
Ray rolls eyes and mightily resists the urge to grab Fraser's head and shake it. "No, Fraser, they don't, and I already told you I wasn't jealous."
"Ah." Fraser clears his throat uncomfortable and looks down at his hands. "So you did."
Ray sighs. "Look, Fraser, enough of this, okay? I just -- you screwed up, that's all. You let somebody take over and Koosh could've gotten hurt and -- "
Ray blinks. "You know?"
"Well, it could hardly escape my notice, Ray, I was right there," Fraser snaps -- which, okay, yeah, point.
"Then -- oh, for fuck's sake, forget about it, okay?" Fraser's startled into looking up at him, and Ray has to chant Public place. Public park. Public. in his head repeatedly so he won't just touch Fraser's tight jaw, the miserable lines around his eyes. "You know, I know, we're not doing it again," he says quietly, gently. "Right?"
Fraser nods slowly. "Right."
Ray nods back, just once, and then grins. "And hey. I yanked on his hair the first time I met him just for the hell of it. Let's say we call it bad cop bad cop, and call it a day."
All in a rush, Fraser's eyes go bright and blue again, and his lips start to twitch. "All right."
They sit and watch Dief -- who's decided he likes to nip Koosh's fur, just to annoy him -- for a while, until Fraser comes out with, "So. Do men pick you up often?"
Ray smirks. Fraser trying to flirt properly is probably the funniest thing he's ever seen -- really, Ray'd rather he did it the way he actually did it, but that's just him. "Nah, you're the first. But I'm easy." He nudges Fraser's ribs and winks. "Want me to take you home? I'm warning you, though, I got kids."
"I expect," Fraser says, bending over to pick Koosh up and giving Ray a hell of a view in the process, "that I won't mind them at all."